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| Click here to link to Chris Swensen's blog post, "8 Things To Be Aware Of In Utah." |
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/eight-things-aware-utah
I love Utah. The only culture that comes naturally to me is Utah culture, for better or worse. I found this blog post, and thought I'd give my two cents to the author's 8 things to be aware of in Utah, including a few points of disagreement:
1. Fry sauce! No disagreement here. Fry sauce is magical. Where did it come from? I believe Missionaries serving somewhere out in the Pacific Islands brought it back to Utah. At least that's the legend I heard. Regardless, if you eat fast food in Utah, ask for fry sauce. And if you don't like it, I humbly ask you to leave Utah within the next 24 hours.
2. Although most people outside the Salt Lake area are Mormon and although they often assume that other clean-cut-looking people are Mormons...oh, never mind, he kind of nailed this one too. If you don't want to be mistaken for Mormon, grow out your hair (men), wear high-heeled Doc Martens (men or women), get a tattoo in a prominent area (men or women), or have at least two or three piercings in places other than your earlobe (men or women).
3. He says there are "churches" everywhere. This is not true. We call them "chapels." There are chapels everywhere.
4. He points out that there are a lot of young people who get married. This is untrue unless you consider the age of 18 through 23 "young." What this author doesn't know is that you're no longer young if you can vote. Wait, maybe I'm confused or something.
5. His fifth point: people try to convert you to Mormonism. True. But--and I am not joking right now--after you've told them you're not interested, they'll continue to be perfectly civil to you. That's one of the cool things about Mormon culture that you may not find in some other cultures dominated by a single religion. However, plan on more conversion attempts in the future...every year or so.
6. You can't do anything on Sunday (?). Granted, there are a lot of places closed on Sunday, but if you do your grocery shopping on Sunday, Costco and lots of other places are open! And guess what, those places are ghost towns.
When you shop on Sunday in Utah Valley, there will be a few other peace-loving people shopping. You all smile at each other. It's a knowing smile that says, "We're not shopping on Saturday."
And the reason you don't want to do your shopping on Saturday in Utah Valley is because that's when 80% of Utah Valley does almost 100% of its shopping. It's a hellish nightmare. When I find myself walking into a Costco or a Walmart or pretty much anywhere else in Utah Valley on Saturday I want to weep because I know what I'm in for.
Sunday shopping, however...beautiful, beautiful Sunday. It's the perfect time to buy groceries in Utah Valley.
7. Conference weekends are a bad time to go to Salt Lake City. Don't go to Salt Lake City the first weekend in April or the first weekend in October, unless you're attending LDS General Conference. And if you're LDS, why would you go to conference when you can pop open a bag of Doritos and pour a glass of Diet Coke and just watch it live on NBC? I know we've got this sentimental thing about seeing the apostles and prophets live, but is it really worth it? Really?
8. There is good coffee in Utah. No disagreement here. It seems because of LDS prohibitions on coffee-drinking, the pro-coffee counter-culture is strong. As a consequence, there are some extremely good little coffee dives all over Salt Lake and Utah County, if you like that kind of thing...you know, if you're willing to imbibe in Satan's very own black brew!
1. Fry sauce! No disagreement here. Fry sauce is magical. Where did it come from? I believe Missionaries serving somewhere out in the Pacific Islands brought it back to Utah. At least that's the legend I heard. Regardless, if you eat fast food in Utah, ask for fry sauce. And if you don't like it, I humbly ask you to leave Utah within the next 24 hours.
2. Although most people outside the Salt Lake area are Mormon and although they often assume that other clean-cut-looking people are Mormons...oh, never mind, he kind of nailed this one too. If you don't want to be mistaken for Mormon, grow out your hair (men), wear high-heeled Doc Martens (men or women), get a tattoo in a prominent area (men or women), or have at least two or three piercings in places other than your earlobe (men or women).
3. He says there are "churches" everywhere. This is not true. We call them "chapels." There are chapels everywhere.
4. He points out that there are a lot of young people who get married. This is untrue unless you consider the age of 18 through 23 "young." What this author doesn't know is that you're no longer young if you can vote. Wait, maybe I'm confused or something.
5. His fifth point: people try to convert you to Mormonism. True. But--and I am not joking right now--after you've told them you're not interested, they'll continue to be perfectly civil to you. That's one of the cool things about Mormon culture that you may not find in some other cultures dominated by a single religion. However, plan on more conversion attempts in the future...every year or so.
6. You can't do anything on Sunday (?). Granted, there are a lot of places closed on Sunday, but if you do your grocery shopping on Sunday, Costco and lots of other places are open! And guess what, those places are ghost towns.
When you shop on Sunday in Utah Valley, there will be a few other peace-loving people shopping. You all smile at each other. It's a knowing smile that says, "We're not shopping on Saturday."
And the reason you don't want to do your shopping on Saturday in Utah Valley is because that's when 80% of Utah Valley does almost 100% of its shopping. It's a hellish nightmare. When I find myself walking into a Costco or a Walmart or pretty much anywhere else in Utah Valley on Saturday I want to weep because I know what I'm in for.
Sunday shopping, however...beautiful, beautiful Sunday. It's the perfect time to buy groceries in Utah Valley.
7. Conference weekends are a bad time to go to Salt Lake City. Don't go to Salt Lake City the first weekend in April or the first weekend in October, unless you're attending LDS General Conference. And if you're LDS, why would you go to conference when you can pop open a bag of Doritos and pour a glass of Diet Coke and just watch it live on NBC? I know we've got this sentimental thing about seeing the apostles and prophets live, but is it really worth it? Really?
8. There is good coffee in Utah. No disagreement here. It seems because of LDS prohibitions on coffee-drinking, the pro-coffee counter-culture is strong. As a consequence, there are some extremely good little coffee dives all over Salt Lake and Utah County, if you like that kind of thing...you know, if you're willing to imbibe in Satan's very own black brew!